Fitness Trackers? Thinking About Dyeing Your Hair?

If you're contemplating buying a preposterously useless and expensive fitness tracker to decorate your wrist. please, just flush your money down the toilet. Better yet, send the cash to me.

While you're at it, if you're a graying Gent, or maybe a Jared Leto follower, you might be considering dyeing your hair. No. Get your ass to the gym if you want to look younger, feel younger, move younger. Spend the hair dye treatment money on workout gloves or a weight training belt or some creatine. Or send it to me.