Yesterday at my gym I was surrounded on 3 sides by 20-somethings glued to their SmartPhones as they LOUNGED on a machine or bench. Each spent up to 5 minutes idly transfixed, scrolling and swiping, pausing only to lackadaisically fake a few perfunctory motions so they could quickly get back to their all-important swiping. Needless to say nobody was sweating, let alone breathing heavily. The girl was attired in the latest Lulumon separates and was performing ludicrously unchallenging lunges DURING an animated voice call. Hint: if you can talk on the phone while “working out” you’re not working out at all.
The males were transfixed to their screens, swiping away at who-knows-what. In the ten minutes in which I performed eight one-arm shoulder overhead presses, these people accomplished nothing. These are typical of those who angrily accuse (online and anonymously, of course) those of us who make impressive gains of “cheating” (If by “cheating” they mean “actually working out” then yep, guilty as charged), or being unfairly genetically gifted. In their eyes I assume they must somehow believe they are actually working out since their droopy asses are parked squarely on a HammerStrength machine.
There’s no rehab for screen addicts. If you cart your SmartPhone around the gym with you, you’re distracted. You’re sabotaging your own gains. You’re merely pretending to work out. I won’t tell you to turn it off and leave it in your locker, because you won’t. I won’t tell you to stop whining and complaining and snarking at those who are making visible gains while you remain the same old schlub, because you won’t. Long live the SmartPhone.
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