Saturday, October 19, 2019

"I Gained 100 Pounds In One Year—Here’s How I Did It!"

A modern day sportsman.

"I Gained 100 Pounds In One Year—Here’s How I Did It!"

Now there’s a headline I’ve been longing to see for years and years—and yet nobody’s written it thus far.

The internet machine is brimming with tales of people losing 100 lbs., 200 lbs., or more who can’t wait to tell you how they accomplished such mind-boggling feat.

But what would truly be fascinating are stories of how these individuals managed to shovel down so much food and drink in the first place so as to ruin both their bodies and their health.

It’s hard to imagine the level of sheer dedication and persistence required to achieve such an accomplishment, not to mention the cost.

Who were their role models? What inspired them to keep eating even when they felt like vomiting? What was their motivation to continue adding weight even after they found themselves unable run, climb, lift their own children, or do all those things that formerly came so easily? How were they able to adapt to their enormous size and the fact they could no longer participate in so many of life’s everyday pleasures? What’s it like to not be able to see your own genitals for years on end? To embrace the feelings of helplessness due to your not being able to remove yourself from danger? How on earth do you reach around all that fat to wipe your ass? It appears to be physically impossible. Is there some gadget you can buy on Amazon that facilitates this? The questions that come to mind are endless.

These are the stories that would have true value and insight, both for those finding themselves going down a similar path, and for those who care about them while struggling to understand exactly why.

Friday, October 4, 2019

Speed Kills

Not a clickable video: go here to view:

When you and I are presented with “instruction” that flies in the face of common sense, not to mention good, proper form, I get really irritated.

Men’s Health currently features this video by Tom Brady’s trainer that is sure to put you in a world of hurts if you follow this guy’s lead.

First I’ll go off on “trainers” who look like anything but. This guy has awful posture, a protruding stomach and nothing under that Tshirt that even hints at muscle, yet he exudes the hubris of someone convinced that he is some expert.

Second, the speed with which this guy has this model do the exercises is hurtful. It is injurious. If you want to fuck yourself up real good, go ahead and follow this guy’s lead. At 3:15 in the video, as an example, the velocity is less like exercise and more like an out of control ride at Disneyland. Not only does the speed of this action prevent the obliques fully engaging in the movement, but puts your lower back at risk of injury. Most of the exercises in this video are performed at an absurdly high rate of speed.

Exercise is deliberate and controlled, and no one can be in control if performing an exercise like a Speedracer. A high rate of speed has nothing positive or constructive at all to do with building, strengthening or toning muscle.

Smoking Is Just Fuckin’ Stupid

How does a person grow up hearing every day from birth onward that smoking maims and kills, yet at some point decides, “Yeah! I want to learn how to inhale burning poisoned shit without choking or puking because it looks like so much fun. It’ll take practice and dedication, and I’ll stink so bad a lot of people will be repulsed, but it’ll all be worth it. And inexpensive too!”

As a kid I was trapped with chain smoking parents in a little house that was sealed up for 8 months of the year against brutal winters. I was sick a lot, my eyes always itched and burned and although there wasn’t always money to buy meat on the 2 days preceding my father’s payday, there was always money for my parents' “sick-erettes,” as I nicknamed them. 

My mom nearly shit a brick when at about age 11 I refused to buy her cigs at the corner store any longer, where she’d send me with a note, which was how it was done in the olden days before laws were passed against adults using children as drug mules.

She died of lung cancer, as did my older brother and sister who were also allowed to smoke in the house.

Now the whole vaping thing is insane, but I can’t wring out one iota of sympathy for people so idiotic that they conclude inhaling burning garbage into their one and only set of lungs is logical, glamorous or cool. Organ transplants are not meant for people who have intentionally set out to destroy their own vital organs.

Thursday, October 3, 2019

For Better Hamstring Development...

For better hamstring development try doing BOTH unilateral and bilateral movements on the lying hamstring curl machine, meaning use both legs for 3 sets, then one leg for 3 sets. I started doing this because when using both legs I noticed one side was stronger, and therefore doing more work, so to ensure more even development I did the single leg movement which allows me to concentrate on the weaker leg.

Try it and see.

Charles Eugster, The 97-Year-Old Bodybuilder

The story at

The video (skip first half to get to the gym video):