Friday, July 21, 2017

Hey Pentagon! I Can Save You $Millions!

Business Insider has a story (click) about the deep-pocket Pentagon’s quest to develop “Super Soldiers” via futuristic technology like Super Underpants that made me giggle for it’s ludicrousness, mainly because American soldiers (and police officers) are, first and foremost, so fucking fat. If you live near a US military installation you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Dear General Pentagon Sir,
Want Super Soldiers? Put all military personnel on a mandatory diet and fitness program, no exceptions. The Pentagon dictates to military personnel how they can and cannot wear their goddamn hair, for fuck’s sake, yet not that they must be physically fit to fight?
You’re welcome.
Richard Sullivan, citizen and taxpayer.

The Military Times (click) has multiple stories fully acknowledging this easily-fixable issue.

Look Great In Your Clothes

We don’t work out only to look good in a bathing suit or naked. We work out because clothes look so much better on a fit body. The problem then is finding clothes that actually fit, because manufacturers refuse to adopt a universal standard for sizing.

S-M-L-XL mean NOTHING. Even within the same brand, let’s say Ralph Lauren or Abercrombie, a size M (medium) can vary wildly in cut and size. Additionally, tagging the item with terms such as “slim cut” or “athletic fit” does nothing to make shopping easier, especially online.

Most recently I purchased Perry Ellis chinos marked 32 that actually measure 34. The same goes for a pair of Ugly Bros. motosport pants. I have two pairs of almost identical A&F sweats, both marked “S”, one measuring 31 inches in the waist and the other measuring 34 inches.

Men’s dress shirts are an exception to this problem: a dress shirt is likely to be sized 16/33, meaning the neck measures 16 inches and the sleeve length 33 inches. That’s a nice start. However few dress shirts measure the chest, which is ridiculous. Measurements in inches/centimeters only make sense, and makes choosing a shirt online much more accurate than choosing a shirt that is only specified as size L.

Online returns due to size issues account for millions of wasted dollars, which could be avoided if clothing manufacturers would only adopt ACCURATE measurements in inches and centimeters for chest, shoulders, neck, waist sleeve and inseam lengths.

Returning things is a major pain in the ass and a needless waste of time and money.

Online shopping is convenient, but nothing takes the place of trying things on in the store because when it comes to looking good in our clothes after all our work at the gym, fit is everything.

Saturday, July 15, 2017

The Professional Know-Nothings @MensJournal

These people have to justify their employment somehow, right? So it’s no surprise the avalanche of ignorant, stupid and worthless fitness “advice”, so-called, you can get online from self-proclaimed authorities who never show their face, much less a shirts-off photo of themselves.

This piece of nothingness on tells us how stupid we are to need a gym bag that holds those essentials we find germaine to our workout, because really, who needs to bring more than, according to them, “sneakers, one full gym getup, and a Dopp kit."?

They call it a “gym bag made by people who actually work out and know that you don't need a weekender-sized sack with a billion zippers and stupid features just to hit weights for an hour.”

 Forget your own personal needs—forget that weight belt, fella! And those unnecessary workout gloves, lifting straps, knee/elbow/wrist wraps, towel, water bottle, ear plugs, protein shake/post-workout snack, eye drops, wet-wipes, your keys, phone, iPod, etc., etc., etc.

The dweeb who wrote this piece of fluff crapola reveals the low bar set for the hiring of staff members, if indeed these writers are actually even paid for this obvious promotion deal with the manufacturer.

Nothing to see here at Men’s Journal, people: move on.

Saturday, July 1, 2017

MORE Worthless Crap From GQ Magazine

NEVER take seriously any fitness article that is not accompanied by a shirt-off recent photo of the author.  NEVER.

Online garbage has reached maximum density in a desperate attempt to attract clicks, and everywhere we are inundated with truly stupid, useless crap attributed to non-entities and non-experts like "GQ Staff", rather than an individual with proper cred, such as a fit physique that readers might aspire to.

Here's a great example by the always-self-humiliating GQ Magazine: A photo of someone doing BICEPS curls used as an illustration of how to work TRICEPS.

My advice to VOGUE, Inc., GQ's owner: fire the least productive dolt on GQ's staff and hire a writer/graphic designer/editor who is a bona fide fitness addict — there are scores of qualified jacked individuals right there in NYC.

You're welcome. Send my $1000 consultant's fee to my Paypal account.