Friday, August 19, 2016

GQ Magazine Suggests You Might Want To Consider Surgery Rather Than Exercise

As far as can be deciphered, Megan Gutashaw, a writer for GQ magazine, has no credentials of note in either human anatomy or psychology, yet presents herself as the worst kind of uncertified authority.
She, a woman, expertly declares to GQ readers, all men, just how near-impossible it is for us to develop our abs, and therefore promotes the only logical solution: surgery.
Just when it seems GQ magazine can’t get any stupider, or more vile, they top themselves.
In her featured article, titled “The New Way Guys Are Getting Olympic-Swimmer Abs.” Gutashaw provides the name of a NY surgeon for those losers out there who have concluded that having their guts sliced open and implanted with foreign objects for a mere $10,000 or so is a far saner option than planking for 10 minutes a day and cutting back on the potato chips. 
There is something morally wrong about feeding into disturbed people’s body dysmorphia and painting a wildly insane idea as mainstream and acceptable. Men getting implants for vanity’s sake rather than working out is as loathsome as it is indicative of their desperate need for psychological evaluation — as too should be required of surgeons who enthusiastically promote and perform these gruesome body modifications, and magazines and their writers who glamorize such a truly disturbing and completely unnatural-looking option.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

If You Have A Great Body Then You Must Be Doing Steroids.

Oh, no...wait a minute...steroids were still 50 years away from being invented when these photos were taken — way back in the 1890s.
Left: Hankenschmidt. Right: Sandow

Little is more revealing of males’ insecurities and thin skin than online comments made by viewers of photos or videos of superfit esthetically muscled men. These losers’ comments predictably accuse the man pictured of “doing” steroids — because they have no excuse for their own self-loathing laziness and lack of accomplishment.
Even weirder is the prejudice and railing against HRT, the medically-supervised replacement of natural hormones lost mostly due to age. Bitter comments by men who themselves imbibe in alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, pain killers and the like who try to recapture their youth through Viagra, Minoxodil, or other topicals and ingestibles, believe because these products are advertised in the mainstream, they are perfectly acceptable socially and otherwise. But somehow to their way of thinking, working with a physician to renew one's diminished hormones is "cheating."
Understanding that critics are telling us everything we need know about what makes them tick — or sick — while telling us nothing at all about those whom they’ve targeted for their criticism, is the key to dealing with these broken people. A basic rule of thumb in life for those with a healthy level of self esteem is to steer well clear of anyone trying to recruit you over to their side for any reason or purpose whatsoever — for you are being played, manipulated and controlled. They are viewing the world though their own distorted lens, and anyone who doesn't agree with them is a threat. They have been unsuccessful at creating the kind of body they desire, and you haven't, so you must be "cheating." It's the most childish of tactics, blaming or shaming others for that which you alone are responsible.
Rather than providing these dysfunctional people a willing ear the next time you hear some angry red-faced blob freak out over what scares him most, and your assuming he must have a point because he’s being so “passionate” (crazy) about it, instead realize that all anger stems from fear, and all fear stems from cowardice. Think twice about supporting or blindly signing on to others’ dysfunction. Try a bit of critical thinking first. 
Nobody respects a follower, and there’s nothing like having a good workout to clear the fog from your head.

Question Those Disembodied Words On Your Monitor

Why do we pay any attention at all to words strung together on our screens or monitors? We need to give this quirk of ours a lot more rational thought. It’s nothing new; ever since the printing press was invented the same thing has been happening, only on paper rather than electronically. The worst kinds of words on a screen are those that purport to be written by so-called “experts” in whatever field. Since I have been strength training since age twelve I am confident in my personal experience in the fields of fitness and nutrition. So when I see some outrageous article on a mainstream website warning us not to do certain exercises or eat certain foods, I want to punch that writer and the morons who employ or publish that drekmeister, for many reasons.
The main reason is because anyone allowed to advise others on fitness or nutrition should be required to post a very recent photograph of themselves in a bathing suit. That would eliminate, oh, I’d say, 98% of these fakers. The remaining 2% who look great in a bathing suit, and therefore practice what they preach, also have problems since some of their workout and nutrition practices are just plain flat out crazy.
YouTube is overflowing with videos by “experts” who look great but spout crazy. In other videos, looking-good vloggers insist that there is only one way to do something, i.e., their way, when in fact there may be many ways, because we are all individuals. We are not them, and they fail to understand that, to get out of their own head and understand that their life experience is unique to them and their advice might not work in our particular case.
But the bottom line is US, and our not signing on to or adopting others’ opinions, prejudices or poorly thought out arguments. This goes for fitness, nutrition, politics, religion and sports teams to name but a few. Be wary of others’ preaching, especially when delivered in a bombastic, “I am the authority” tone. Nobody is YOU. Only you are you. Stop looking for leaders: become the leader of your own life instead. Choose wisely whose advice to follow, especially if you realize you have a history of jumping into to things too blindly and too soon. An examination of your past failures in this regard will inform your future strategy.

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Wisdom Via Experience

I have followed Clark Bartram's basic fitness advice since he was on Kiana Tom's Flex Appeal fitness show. In his 50s now, Clark has some great videos on YouTube well worth your time:

What Kind of FuckHead Can’t Even Feed Himself?

I grew up in a great big family in which my mother did not teach her daughters to cook. Or iron. Oddly, our mom was a good cook and and even better baker, and back in those days a girl’s #1 priority was to find a husband and have babies, all of whom needed to eat — so go figure.

Anyway, by age 12 I was a self-taught baker because I had a sweet tooth. I also taught myself to cook, because, what could be easier, or more logical, or more essential to life itself? Apparently millions never got the same message I did, since they eat all their meals out, or subsist by thawing something frozen.

This is why so many people are fat. Allowing others to prepare the very stuff of life rather than doing it yourself is stupid on a dozen different levels, from others deciding for you what your portion size will be, to whether they are scratching their rectum while handling your food.

Rather than tell you how to learn to cook — screw the idiots who can’t figure that out on their own — I’ll just remind you how vulnerable you make yourself by not shopping for basic ingredients and tossing them in a skillet: Obesity, e coli, cancer-causing chemicals, insects, bacteria, viruses, vermin, vermin feces, cigarette ashes, strangers’ body fluids, open sores, human hair, product recalls and more. Hungry yet?

Maintaining health means learning to cook and shop for quality ingredients and starting meal prep from scratch. Hamburger Helper, Stove Top Stuffing and similar chemical-filled garbage products do not count as cooking from scratch. Most bodybuilders and athletes in training prepare their own food or have a trusted partner/friend/employee who does it for them under their personal supervision. Allowing strangers to make the very food you need to maintain good health will always come to no good: illness is not a given in life. If you are often sick, there's a good, avoidable reason for that.

I stopped going to restaurants about ten years ago. ALL restaurants. I have had no colds, no flu, no vomiting, no food poisoning, and no headaches since. Before that I suffered all of the above on a regular basis. Also, I was once a waiter in a Los Angeles celebrity (Barbra Streisand, Jon Voigt, Liza Minnelli, Donna Summer - she married one of the waiters -, Tom Jones, Mick Jagger, Paul McCartney) restaurant for three years, and things went on in that kitchen that if widely known could well have shut the place down —  not to mention the staff habitually exiting the bathroom without washing their hands.

Monday, August 8, 2016

Volunteering For Disability

I live on a lovely street where 80% of the people are over age 50 and more than half of them are ill with what they like to call "age related" conditions. Some have been very eager to tell me about it. In truth these conditions aren't age-related. They are diet-related, obesity-related, smoking-related, sedentary lifestyle-related, alcohol-pain medication-drug-related conditions willingly adopted and relentlessly pursued.

When we get older most of us find we may have to work harder to make ends meet financially, just as we also may have to work harder to stay in shape physically. Nobody much questions the first part of that sentence, but they rail ferociously against the second.

Old people dredge up every excuse in the book to keep from losing weight and getting fit. Everyone sees right through the bitching and nobody wants to hear it. I have an easier solution: Just Shut Up. 

Eat all you want. Sit on the couch all day. Nobody cares as long as you take responsibility for the outcome. That means, shut up. Stop complaining about the illnesses you suffer due to your lifestyle choices. You fought long and hard to do exactly what you wanted whenever you wanted, and railed against those who advised you otherwise. Congratulations. You won. But part of your prize package is a self-inflicted physical disability. Stop pretending that this "just happened" to you, that you are the victim of bad luck. Unless you were in an accident not your fault or suffer from a debilitating malady medically recognized as a disease, you are a volunteer as pertains to your overall poor health. Obesity is not a disease. Substance addiction, alcohol, gambling — NOT a disease. Sorry, Oprah. You're a lovely person but full of shit on that one.

You can either start today to try your damnedest to turn things around as much as is still possible, or you can continue to deteriorate. When it comes to health and fitness there is no status quo. We're either making things better or we're making things worse. The choice is up to us.